This is an email my dad just got and I think that it its hilarious -
Why, Why, Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there four billion stars but check when they say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t the glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to but an “s” in the word “lisp”?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses aren’t on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, the put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams out ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say “it’s alright?” well, its not all right, so why don’t we say, “that hurt you stupid idiot!”
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something falling off the table you always manages to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.

I love emails like this. They are totally random but for the most part just make my days hilarous. Seriously though, that one abou the shopping cart, that's happened to me dozens of time and I always tell the person that I'm okay even though for the next week I've got a brusied ankle and a nice bloody sock to go along with it. These things are so true though. I mean, have you ever seen a day when the materess weren't on sale? When I took driver's Ed two summers ago, there was a materess standing outside on the corner everyday announcing a sale. Oh, and I think I know why there are no father in-law jokes - because the father in-laws might pummel the people that say them.